First read this short devotional at Our Daily Bread, and then come back here.
This is an excellent devotional on why we shouldn’t push others to do, to serve, to try, etc, but wait on God’s timing in their lives. From a widow’s perspective this is very important, and is part of what I was trying to say the other day when I posted about my difficulty in saying no to projects because I felt that I was letting others down if I didn’t take on a certain project.
Being a widow is not easy. There isn’t a guide book that lays out the steps you will take, and how rosy life will be if you do these things. Instead you stumble through as best you can, and pray, and pray, and pray for God’s comfort and guidance.
But you know what? It’s not easy being a friend to a widow either. I imagine if I asked you, you might tell me things like, “I don’t know how to relate to you.” “I don’t know what to say to you, so I don’t call anymore.” You might even, deep inside, feel guilty that you still have your husband; or you might find that being around me forces you to face the fact of your own mortality, and that’s a difficult thing for many of us to face. None of those are wrong, they are all a natural reaction. To be honest, I have trouble relating to a gal who is a brand new widow. Her perspective is different from mine, and I find myself stumbling for the right words when I talk to her. So you, my friends, are not alone.
Maybe, just maybe, I can assist you, as my friend, in relating to me.
- First, please understand that as a widow, I don’t blame you, neither do I blame myself, nor do I blame God for this predicament. I am trusting the Lord with my life, and so should you.
- Treat me the same as you always have, or as you do any other friend.
- Don’t push me.
- Be honest if I ask for your advice.
- Pray for me.
- When I fall down, be there to help me up.
- Be kind. Be gentle. Be my friend.